Beverly Hills, Persian Style.
Which one of these pictures more accurately portrays Beverly Hills?Wait a second, I thought as I found myself surrounded by hundreds of dark-haired, copper and brown-skinned people. Isn’t Beverly Hills full of blondes and fake breasts and movie stars?
I strained my neck looking at everyone’s faces down the halls and ornate staircases of this upscale mansion-like home of the city’s vice mayor. Yep, I had the lightest skin and hair of anyone here.
One thing that was apparently missing in my pop culture education about Beverly Hills from the likes of Weezer, Aaron Spelling, and Eddie Murphy movies from the 80’s was the vast amount of Persian Jews that live here.
For those who don’t know… when I say “Persian” I actually mean “Iranian”, but Persian is the term the people here prefer even if the Persian kingdom hasn’t existed in well..awhile. I know I thought the only things Persian anymore were fuzzy cats, gaudy rugs, and games involving The Prince Of…
Apparently Beverly Hills became a destination during the reign of the Shah in Iran in the late 70’s. I was told that the Shah’s wife moved there after the Iranian revolution in 1979. A lot of other wealthy Iranians did the same.
A Reference.com site says, “Some estimates put the Persian community population as high as 20%. Some claim it to be even higher. The majority of Beverly Hills Persians adhere to Judaism.”
20 percent? With that high of a percentage you would of thought at least one Beverly Hills 90210 character would have been Persian. Maybe Brian Austin Green replaced by Barzoo Asin G’Areh?
At any rate, I felt a little out of place here. Then again, the press release I was given said this was to be a “Young Professionals Mixer” to encourage young people to vote, not a “Young Persian Mixer” but apparently the vice mayor went on Persian radio to promote the event and is trying to mobilize the young Persian vote so he can triumph as the first Persian mayor in America.
An old Prince of Persia game pictured here seems a bit racist. What's up with the whitewashed Luke Skywalker-looking Prince kicking the ass of the swarthy dark-skinned guy?
An old Prince of Persia game pictured here seems a bit racist. What's up with the whitewashed Luke Skywalker-looking Prince kicking the ass of the swarthy dark-skinned guy?Never mind that he speaks in broken English, and this his platform for city council consists of “Free Internet” and “Licence Plate Scanner Laser Thingys”, this guy sees himself as a Jackie Robinson-like figure opening the door for Persian politicians to go mainstream in America.
When I asked him what prevented young people from voting, he quipped “Hormones” with a smile as if teens would be lined up in front of precincts at the First Prespyterian to vote on the city council if only they weren’t having sex during polling times!
As it turns out, these snazzily-dressed “young people” who were busy fake smiling and handing out business cards like candy in order to ‘network’ weren’t so young after all. Two women I interviewed, a clinical psychologist and a personal trainer (I joked with them and called them “Mind and body” were 32 and 34 years old respectively).
One of the youngest people I found was an aggressive 29-year woman who had spoken earlier in the night, and when I say she spoke, I mean she lectured the room about their lack of civic knowledge.
“How many people here know how many terms George Washington served? I bet not many of you,” she simultaneously smiled and sneered with a look of a young politician disguising the fact that she hated everyone in the room. “It was actually two. Do you know why?” she added, while I felt a man next to me shift uncomfortably.
I later interviewed this girl, and she spoke to me like a pageant contestant would to the judges.
“The 2000 Election was a total turning point,” she told me. “I felt like I was just living in this country and not participating.”
It sounded noble enough when she noted that she gave up her dream as the president of a college to work for the city council but I asked her what she does now and she told me she was working for a lobbying group called APAC. From the halls of education to the sychophantic life of a lobbyist! Democracy would be proud!
Our interview got off track eventually, as we talked about other things and as an attractive young Jewess (she may have actually been a ‘Israel Jew’ and not a ‘Persian Jew’) named Esther smiled at me and asked for my business card.
Meanwhile, Miss Lobbyist was continuing to barrage me with her so-called solution to solve L.A. gang problems.
“Don’t you watch movies?” I joked finally. “All we need is Hilary Swank and Michelle Pfiffer as teachers in our schools. Hot white chicks are the answer to our problems.”
This finally made her laugh for the first time in the conversation.
I finally was able to slip out of the conversation, but not before being approached by a goofy, tallish, bespectacled Persian guy who was like a nerdier version of Jeff Goldblum.
Goldblum and I had a brief awkward conversation before I slipped out into the night and away from the Prince of Beverly Hills Persia’s house.
As I walked briskly to my car, I kept looking for a familiar face – Brian Austin Green’s even, to remind me that I was in the Beverly Hills of Rodeo Drive and Paris Hilton’s dog.
