The Sasquatch Journal

I took in a double feature of the movies Wall-E and Wanted on Friday night which turned out to be interesting considering these two movies are almost diametrically opposed. It was almost jarring seeing them back to back. But the funny thing is, the animated sci-fi movie starring a robot had a tons of heart and the one starring flesh and blood people had zero. In fact, I'd almost say Wall-E was more realistic too, despite the fact that it was about a robot who falls in love in the post-apocolyptic future.

Here's the breakdown:

I'm honestly not much of a Pixar fan boy, I think the only movies of theirs I've seen is Toy Story, the sequel and The Incredibles. I avoid animated movies usually because well, I'm a single 30-year old man for one. Secondly, most animated movies released in the last 10 years are full of sassy talking animals voiced by major celebrities making "clever" pop-culture references and fart jokes. Give me an old school Daffy Duck or Pink Panther cartoon from the 50's anytime.

That said, Wall-E is much different. Instead of the frantic constant in your face dialogue, the first 45 minutes of the movie is basically dialogue free and almost Zen-like in it's simplicity. The first half of the movie almost feels like a classic silent comedy combined with "I Am Legend" without the bloodsucking radioactive zombie things and a robot instead of Will Smith. Without giving away too much of the plot, the second half is a love story combined with classic sci-fi complete with a disturbing vision of What Happens To Us.

It's pretty amazing that you end up caring as much as you do about the plight of two robots and their cockroach pal, but you do. So credit Pixar I think for one of the best animated movies ever.

Wanted: Politicians and parent groups throw out the phrase "Hollywood glorifies violence" all the time and it's not always true. But never has it been more true than in "Wanted." It's not just that the movie makes violence look "cool" with the curving bullets, sniper rifles that can pick off a target from five miles away and snazzy bullets with clever engravings written on them, it's that the movie literally preaches that violence is the answer to your problems.

The movie borrows liberally from "The Matrix" and also a recent game called "Assassin's Creed" but mostly from "Fight Club" (the protagonist is being emasculated by a dead end office job and also comments sarcastically about it via voice-over narration, for instance) but in Fight Club, the nihlism was at least rooted in things that are fundamentally true (Consumer culture is often soulless, You are not what you own, You should simplify your life) and the solution in that movie is almost intentionally ridiculous with a man who splits his own personality in two solves his problems through self-destruction.

But in "Wanted" the solution to life's stresses is more literal and more disturbing... Its philosophy can be boiled down to "Don't be a pussy. Beat up people if they get in your way, or better yet, shoot them." Now, considering the over-the-topness of this movie, you could argue maybe that it's an exercise in self-parody, but it really doesn't come across that way.

Speaking of over-the-top, how about this for a plot - A office drone is recruited by an ancient assassins guild because he has the same rare hyper adrenline power as the father he never knew. This power allows him to shoot the wings off a fly, jump on moving trains, do 360 degree flips in cars while shooting people, and make bullets curve like a Barry Zito curveball.

These assassins pick their targets because of the whims of an apparently autonomous loom called The Loom of Fate that codes the names of targets in fabric. Yes, you read that right. It was so ridiculous hearing Morgan Freeman say "Behold, the Loom of Fate!" that I had to stifle a huge laugh. It sounds like the worst prog Metal band name ever.

Anyway, the rest of the movie seems like it was written by the producers of The Man Show - cool gadgets, slow-mo cuts of Angelina Jolie's naked backside, close ups of exploding heads, and a guy getting revenge on his friend who is sleeping with his girlfriend. It certainly isn't boring, but it doesn't feel connected to anything resembling human emotion or even reality. Unlike Wall-E. Who knew?